coffee, cigar & a couple of beers

I have been wondering lately about my job. Should i leave and go on to a more financially fruitful endeavor and as with yesterday the response to my wondering is in the form of a younger individual. An ex-student of mine in working in a cigar shop and tonight he called to see if we could get together for a smoke. He came by to pick me up and took a look at the drawings from "A Season in Hell". We headed of to Starbucks for coffee and cigars. After a couple of hours of conversation, Starbucks had closed by then he asked if we could go have a beer. "Always say yes" is my motto, you never know what they need until you are told and sometimes it takes a little bit of time.

We talked about art, writers, girls and family but by the end of the night he took with him a sketchpad for charcoal and pastels, a piece of inked dipped canvas and Nabokov's "Lolita" (my own personal copy). So now you know, coffee cigar and a couple of beers will get you my "Lolita".

"Surely I'd give it for a nipple a rubber Tacitus
For a rattle a bag of broken Bach records"
- from Gregory Corso's poem Marriage

A Season in Hell by Arthur Rimbaud

The Poem





The book of poems "A Season in Hell" by Arthur Rimbaud has been a part of my life since I was 17. Not long ago, several months?, a friend asked if i would be interested in working with three other artist to put together a show. The theme had not been chosen but the issue of homelessness may be a factor in the show. I dislike issues that i have no ownership to. Homelessness is something i have not experienced and i feel does not belong to me but if this show is for charity, how could anyone say no. I am still unsure what we will be doing for the show but i ran with an idea of my own.

Ideas are strange things, sometimes they hold all the power and at other times i do. In this case the idea was to work with the first poem from "A Season in Hell" and it had a life beyond my reservations. Maybe it would never end up being about homelessness but it would be a place to start making some interesting drawings and that is all i need, a place to start.

Working with words from poems or songs is something i salivate over. When it is a poem i read, reread, look, sound it out, use my high voice and low voice, search for meaning and keep it close until it feels right. In this case I got my book (the original one i read at 17) and started reading. How delightful it was, like an old friend. I could feel my youth rush upon me as if 17 had returned. My lips tasted the beauty of my youthfull dark thoughts, the ones that still have hope as their linning. When i work with words i change the line structure of the poem or song to fit the work i am trying to create (sorry Rimbaud and all the others) and this was the case with this poem.



The sketchbook page where it all started.



I will post more about the process later for now here are four (unfinished drawings) of the twelve drawings. I am working on all twelve at the same time.



the 1st drawing








the 6th drawing






the 8th darwing




the last drawing





Enjoy!

i am back & not sure why

It was a great idea a blog for the claw and almost a month from my last post i am beginning to wonder about great ideas. Ideas in my brain are constant and non-stop but the execution is faulty. The "to do" lists are all over my sketchbooks and in all my thoughts but there are books to read, drawings to work on, an unkempt garden that is more important because of its grounding force. The doing and the experiencing are not the same. The devils are at my shoulders and they both want my time and i can't seem to hear either one over my needs. Laziness comes to mind when certain individuals roll their eyes and the comments about doing what you have to do being more important than what you need to do for yourself. My life belongs to whom or what? But today an affirmation came to my home in the form of a child. He was laughing and happy jumping in the water over and over, sometimes staying under too long for the adults but returning back to the jumping, splashing and enjoyment right after we got him above water. It was wonderful to see and if i was more concern with the things i have to do i would have missed it all. Instead i am blessed to have seen joy, caring and genuine love. So the concern has subsided and i will continue to live a life of faith in the process of living and not the process of the "have to".