i am back & not sure why

It was a great idea a blog for the claw and almost a month from my last post i am beginning to wonder about great ideas. Ideas in my brain are constant and non-stop but the execution is faulty. The "to do" lists are all over my sketchbooks and in all my thoughts but there are books to read, drawings to work on, an unkempt garden that is more important because of its grounding force. The doing and the experiencing are not the same. The devils are at my shoulders and they both want my time and i can't seem to hear either one over my needs. Laziness comes to mind when certain individuals roll their eyes and the comments about doing what you have to do being more important than what you need to do for yourself. My life belongs to whom or what? But today an affirmation came to my home in the form of a child. He was laughing and happy jumping in the water over and over, sometimes staying under too long for the adults but returning back to the jumping, splashing and enjoyment right after we got him above water. It was wonderful to see and if i was more concern with the things i have to do i would have missed it all. Instead i am blessed to have seen joy, caring and genuine love. So the concern has subsided and i will continue to live a life of faith in the process of living and not the process of the "have to".